BIG GIRLS DON’T CRY

…but I’ve got to get to move on with my life
It’s time to be a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry…

Inspired a little from Fergie’s song, I thought those words would be appropriate to most girl that on the phace to be an adult woman. Growing up is not a matter to pretend, to act and feel like a woman, but it’s more to think wisely and behave as if you are, a woman.

I agree with an opinion that 17 is the right time, the transition of the teens becoming an adult. For example is the rule of our country allows us to have ID card and driving lisence only if we’re 17 or up. Not only that, I also got those reasons based on my own experiences.

I’ve absolutely got so many lessons from being 17. In my opinion, it was the first time for me to learn about the real life. It felt like a blast. Sometimes it was sweet like the sugar honey ice cream, bitter like the robusta coffeebean, salty like the potato chips, sour like an expired tobasco, or even tasteless like the plain water. And the difference from being before 17, those tastes became much more real than any age ever!

My first real life experience was when I entered one of after-school activity, Capoeira. It is a Brazilian martial art that combine movements, music and tricks. I wasn’t attracted at the first. I just followed my friend’s step because he said that Capoeira is cool, without considered the side effects of its acrobatic movements that caused various injuries.

Moreover, I was surprised when the chief of that extracurricular who was my classmate offered me an important position inside the organization; to become a secretary. I was unexperienced and I didn’t know my job description at all. Or in other words, I was knew nothing. But I was too excited on that time, so I took that offer and did my part as best as I could.

I was in the 2nd grade on that time. I practiced capoeira in almost everyday and I was unstopable. I moved like a squirrel with its agility. It seemed like the opening of lots of my rebellions. Since that moment, I often got home benighted, acted against the rules as if playing “hide and seek’ with “discipline”, less attention to the lessons, etc. My head was only fulfilled with capoeira! I slowly could forget my sadness caused of my mother’s death when I was 15. I was raising up with school activities with being chosen to be member of student’s committee. It felt so much fun at the first; living my life with lots of activities and meet different people everyday. But one day, God gave me a turning point to make me a bit slow down.

It was happened when I took my first Capoeira grading that called Batizado. I got a pretty serious injury on the upper part of my right foot sole. It was swollen for a week and I had to wear sandal everytime I went to school. I had to break for a moment from practicing capoeira and the other scool activities, except studying. And it seemed like a coincidence, because it happened when I just entered my last year of three years on high school. I had to concentrate studying for national examination preparation and forget about after-school activities, it were forbidden by my school for all last-year students.

Not only because of the school’s rule, I also got a serious problem with my capoeira instructor, so I decided to break from that activity. Actually, the injury that I got become worse because one of my capoeira’s friend step on the exact part of my injured foot. The problem became more serious when my aunt (she subtituted my mom) knew it and she got mad on my instructor. It was a very misunderstoodness moment. My instructor felt very unpleasant and my image was very bad on that moment. I’ve tried to explain the fact to my instructor, but he didn’t want to believe it. I was threatened by my instuctor that he would take back my corda (capoeira’s belt) because of that problem. I felt very insecure on that time and most of my capoeira’s friends blame on me. I learned one thing from that incident: trust. Whether he/she is very close to us, we can’t force he/she to trust us, even we do really trust on him/her.

I also learn about the meaning of love from one of my capoeira’s friend. He’s the one of the senior inside the capoeira’s club. All of my girlfriends on capoeira bet that he was crushed on me. He often sent me SMS that full of romantic words. I felt nothing at the first, but I slowly attracted to him. But, again, it was happened when I took my capoeira grading, he shocked me out with brought his girlfriend! He broke my heart and hopes. I really hate him after that moment, but that I’ve realized that we had share lots of greatful moment, so I decided to forget and forgive him. Later I could understand, like Sherina said in the lyrics of her song “Better Than Love” :

Not interested in love, but I’m attracted to you
I hope that you feel the same way too
A little too fast, but way too long
Though I’m not sure where I belong

What did you say, what did you do?
Somehow I feel I’m enchanted by you
I’m flying high on a mountain high
Suddenly, you look as bright as the sky

Something old, something new
Something I’ve never felt could be true
Love’s too strong and a bit cliché
For now this is enough, I’ve got a long way

The top of my learning process was when my class got clashed with the neighbor class which is next to our class. We were fighting about our memorial book’s theme. I was wrangled with the chief of the neighbor class and tried to explain our problem but she wouldn’t listen all of my explanation. I really wanted to cry on that moment, but hey, what should big girls do when they had a problem? I should know the answer: Big girls don’t cry!